Observation 5

* everything has shattered. Sleeping habits has gotten worse. Food habits on improvement.
*psychological and emotional health is worse. It's clear and very understood fact that what you see, you become more of it. Lately been watching serial killer videos out of curiosity to know to what's the extent of a human mind and the range in variation in thoughts of people. unSurprisingly, it's very vast.
* Stopped watching those videos, as it was a sickening experience.
*Hoping to reboot myself as always.
* Should stay and work more positive.
*Internet habits has become bad. Now putting a restriction of 2 hrs to see if it helps. It will help positively that's for sure.
*people are good inside. they just lie more often.
* Guess I will stop posting more here. Not helpful at all. 

Observation 4

• Feeling confident for no reason.
• Exams after 20 days. 4 days each.
• Inspirational videos work for very short span of time.(for the subject under observation)
• Browsing blindly reduced.
• Sleep habits on improvement.
• Study habits - ups and downs
• Consciously choosing to be happy, everything that will go wrong will go wrong. So,Chill.
• Without working hard, you get nothing. LOL.

Observation 3

Subject has reflected positive changes from inside.

Status report:

Feeling motivated

Increased reading habits. Read a books on startups. Now reading a book on history. And after that a classic novel.

Sleeping habits needs improvement.

New skills acquired : NO.

Productivity enhancement reqd.

lack of Patience and persistence 

Observation 2

State of the subject: Feeling content and happy but needs work

Distraction level: Improvement

Cognitive ability: Improved

Food habits: Improved, needs work

Sleeping habits: Working on it. Internet is very distracting

Porn addiction: Down to zero.

Thoughts: lesser negative thoughts than before

Procrastination: Good improvement

Looking back !!!!

Looking back at my previous post.

Sucks that I feel(am) more stupid than before.

Cannot pinpoint what is making me sad. Or is it just the way I am? Hell no, I wasn't like this 3 years ago. 

What if I am choosing to be sad? 

Ohhh. 

Let's choose to be happy then. Result of this choice to be discussed after few days at this place

Decided to start writing this blog again. Knowing that nobody(very few) is gonna read read this makes me feel safer.

How are you going to use this blog now ???

(Talking in my head)

To keep track of progress(?) I make in days to follow.

Ok.Good.

Current Status of Subject : Depressed and diffident. 

Reason: Unknown. Too much guilt of making too much stupid decisions and thus mistakes maybe.

1.Having trouble understanding abstract ideas.

2.Feels bored and aloof all the time.

          3.Constant urge of having animal sex. Probably(Certainly) because of watching too much porn.
          4.Procrastinates every fucking time.

          5.Sleeping habits: Poor . Irregular schedule.

5.1 Poor physical health

          6.Study habits: Irregular

7.Attention Span: max. 3 minutes

8.Spare time activities: Browsing internet, Videos, Facebook, Twitter, Quora, Sleeping

9.What I have been wishing to do : Complete CFD course, Class notes, Go out with friends more often.

Prepare for engg Aptitude exam. Days left. 3 months 20 days. Project work.

10.Any productive things done in last 3 months/ Skills Learned: Blog about rockets and missiles, Update of another blog, project work. Solar cooker. Completed one subject of engg. apti exam. Started PP and control.

*****Next 1 month target: CFD complete course work, Other class subjects. 3 more engg apti. subjects.

Wishes:

Learn Keyboard before 2016 anyhow.

QM course(Supplementary mathematics)

Action plan for achieving this.

Required feels : 

Happiness(I am choosing to be happy),

Stay away from sad thoughts.(Choose to think about good things)

Stay away from porn for a while. 

Deleted 20 GB porn premium collection just after writing this. No wait. Yeah done.

From point 1 to 10, possible solutions

1.Try Feynman method for understanding abstract ideas. 

2. Listen upbeat music.Dance.Exercise every time sad thoughts try to enter your mind. 

3. Emotions are more important. Sex with someone you don't love is pathetic and not good(for me).

4.Just stop procrastinating. Use timer.

5. Continuous sleep of 7 hours. Sleep before 1 o'clock in a critical situation. 12:30  in a mild critical situation and 12:00 everyday.

5.1 Start exercise in the morning. and eat fruits and goo food.

6. Remove all distraction from the room. Turn laptop off if not required.

7. Mediation and yoga for 30 minutes in the morning.

8.Stop using Facebook too much.Only once a day at night.Reduce it to weekends later. Start contributing on Quora on relevant subjects and topics.

Use Youtube when required. Stop watching cat videos.

9. Suhas Patankar, Anderson. 

10. Carry on the blogs. Design models in creo for the blog. Start updating Rocket blog.

Continue project work. 

Action plan is too much optimistic. Solid dedication and sacrifice of self-gratification activities is the answer as far as I am concerned.

Play game for next 30 minutes.

After that one subject of exam.

Period.

.

Re-incarnation: what is a life ?

What an awesome day today was!! Just because I realised that what I was doing wrong. Each and Every day on which I introspect myself, It's always a new beginning but today was something different because I  tried to follow what I had decided . Yeah,this is important because I always think and leave that part there , Even If I try not to do it ,it always happens with me but today I pushed myself and it really feels good ..I gotta work on this a little or say a lot more !!!  I asked myself what is the thing that really attracts me, first thing that came into my mind was obviously PHYSICS,and then  it had to be "mathematics of nature" ! then as i started pondering over the matter, I found that I like everything in this world but i gotta chose something, i like robotics and automobiles as well . I love to be clear about quantum physics and what is happening around me. Yes ,I am concerned over happenings in the world and in my country including my village! i think i lake determination but i know i can do it. i just need to work on my ideas a "little" further. I want to be a leader , a mathematician, a physicist ,an engineer  and of course a motivator !!! Also I want to be loved by everybody which of course is not possible but i can make it possible i guess! And I m not uncertain about it ! I miss my old friends but i have got new friends too ,they are also good like them! i also found that i have started to  stop being a daydreamer!!! but why the hell i cannot give my time to my besties... i ll manage it coz i love 'em!!! As always I asked myself a question that i have been asking myself ever since i was 12  and as always i found myself unanswered. (our science teacher s yadav sir asked us this question when i was in 7th). love !

life as we know  is not as simple as it seems and is not as difficult as it seems... it's just everything or nothing... it's you who decides what to do with your life... but for that stop being pretender and start finding who exactly you are ..what exactly you want  to achieve...do what you gotta do man...love what you do...what others think is none of your business!!! feeling cool ,,haven't slept tonight ...just gained autocad tricks for my love of design which grew obviously naturally!!! a bit confused but its good to be confused because that's where you learn that you have at least started learning!!! great buddy...enough of today...planning to learn some solid mechanics concepts...and velocity analysis for today...i know it will be fun !!!